Bar

Since I never actually worte anything on this post... I guess because my memory got erase pretty fast with the normal coming and going that usually goes on at a bar I have decided to finish it now, four months later.
After a long time of being confined to my house for a variety of reasons I was crying for a night out. It indeed went fairly well except for the service... what is the matter with customer service nowdays? I was tired after a long day and kung fu training but I really wnated a couple of delighfully cold beers, nice music and good food... That is why I took the money to head for the best pub in the city. Mind you but where I live pubs are not exactly on every corner and a good one is even harder to come across. This one has the incredible bonus of offering Guinness -God bless the man who brew it first- but we got there and after a while I still had no one asking me if I wanted sth... yes, I grant that the place was crowded since it was friday night but come on! If you wnat to sell alcohol the least you can do is to actually offer it! However after we got someone to pay attention to us things improved considerably and I got exactly what I wanted. I wish there were more places like that one but with more waitresses.

Sleepy

Today is bizarre. I should start hating wednesdays hahaha.

I am terribly sleepy because I only got something like an hour an a half of sleep before coming to university and it was all for nothing.
I had two appointments with teachers. The first one was terribbly unsuccessful, may I add next semester in the semesters to come I will have to take an extra subject thanks to my wonderful stupidity. Additionally, I had a very important appointment schedule with the chief of my department to see how to solve on of the major problems in my academis history and... ta ta ta tan! She made me wait half an hour until I had to go with no talk whatsoever.

I have my fingers crossed but I guess my average this semester will be going to hell, again.
Now in the midst of my personal holocaust I am wondering if I should take french during december or not. I think since I am about to fall asleep over the keyboard that my brain is voting heavily on: let's take a rest from everyhing... just go home after your presentation and sleep and sleep... Nevertheless my inner personal favorite is: Mais madmoiselle qu'est ce tu pense faire pendant le Noël? Ces dates sont très enneuyeuses! Tu deteste du Noël... tout le famille est en train de faire quesqtiones ou comme tu est a la maison beaocoup de temps tous commencent á te disent que faire, quand, avec qui, pourquoi...

Wow, I really need to catch some Zs I have peculiar lapsus.

Did I mention I watched "New moon"? Let's start by saying: Everyone knows twilight movies are pretty bad. No news there. This one... did not seem as bad as the first one, it was funny... entertaining. The boys, omfg!, the boys were soooooo hot! Taylor Lautner had me drooling pretty fast. I usually do not go for the muscular kinda of guy... but man! was he irresistible?! the mixture he conveys makes him quite sexy even he is not my type at all. How on earth a baby like him gets such body? I mean the boy has 17! for crying out lod!!! Beisdes, at the interviews he is terribly cute! Can you imagine that boy at 25?

Honestly, there is always a ball heading straight towards you!

Today I've gotten to think about failure. What can you do to get over it? I'm starting to consider that failure is something absolutely overrated. Pleople sometimes cling to it as if there is nowhere better to go, but frankly speaking who can consider good to keep mulling once and again over mistakes already done?
The thing is, the only way to get away from the paranoia that sets in right after failure is to set your feet firmly on the purpose of moving forward and never stop to look back.
It is true: we learn from our mistakes but, never be wrong... To learn from them does not mean you've got to constantly keep reviving those experiences. It means that you write some notes on it and placed your notepad securely on your pocket and keep going because there is a beisball coming at you... and if you are not ready to bat at any minute it will hit your head and knock you out. Maybe, just maybe, you can't see the ball yet but believe it or not it is coming... they always keep coming!

On a random conversation.

He said: You are the whole pack, you are everything!

She replied: Really? What does a whole pack contain?

He said: Everything!!!

She answered: Ok, then what is everything?!
two hands?: to touch you better?
two eyes?: to look at you everyday?
a nose?: to smell you in the morning or while we have sex?
two ears?: to listen to you practicing guitar (which btw you gotta remember my favorite piece is "La Catedral").

He said: Ok, ok, wait! Everything means I love you.

She continued (thinking his statement was contradictory):
two feet?: to run away from you while we play with snow?
two legs?: to twist them around you and push you towards me for a kiss?
one neck?: to hold your breath and all your straying kisses?
two boobies?: to watch you decide which one is prettier?
one belly?: to hold your head with it while I try disentangling your hair?

He said: Ok. All right. Will you please place your head over my chest so while I hold you, you understand by the rythm of my heart that I'm being honest with you?

On vampire books

I have been away from blog writing for a while. I needed to come because somehow it feels good to write here (although no idea why).
Again I cathced a cold and I am starting to get annoyed by my serious lack of defenses. I think I have been at the doctor due to flue and a variety of respiratory problems around 6 times this years (from all the odds! gosh!).
For a vampire lover I guess I have a pretty lame health. Not to mention that my eyes allergy is getting worse and I am really -I mean really- photosensitive.

My french is improving and university is not doing too bad. My academic life is spinning insesantly but no wonders there. I guess I will always have to fight with all my might to get things straight right?

Last night... or should I say this early morning? I finished the Vampire Academy series and since it so happens that I have been arond a year reading vampire's stuff directed to young adults I thought ranking and sharing my vampire experiences was a must, so here it goes:

1. Jeanine Frost's Night Huntress series, featuring Cat Crawfield as the badass girl!
There are currently 4 books in the series and I loved them! Whenever you get your hands on these books you cannot stop reading. The dialogues and characters are very well shaped and well: I am a sucker for a girl in control and a hot guy. Cat and Bones are the best couple in a vampire book ever!

2. Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series. As a matter of fact, ranking second I should place two series, which seem to me to be fighting closely for this place in my rank, but a girl has to make choices: right?
I love Edward. He is always caring and mind you but girls want to feel protected and a bit spoiled once in a while! Bella, in the books (I clarify because even when the movie was great for a weekend with no better plans, the characters there plainly sucked!) has a very peculiar personality that draws some strange sense of strenght and bravery which are always great to interact with.

3. Richelle Mead's Vampire Academy series. To tell you the truth I like much more the writing style from this series than the one from Stephenie Meyer's. Nevertheless, it drives me a bit crazy all this I have to save Lisa no matter what agenda. You will get me when you pick up these books. Currently they are 4 books, as in the case of my hot-hot-hot number one! lol. These books are incredibly fun to read. I like the races differentiation and I like its twists. Along the way the book gets a bit predictable but the way the whole adventure is told makes it comfortable and dynamique.
Amazingly enough to choose a favorite character here is quite complicated, as it is the case with the Jeannine Frost's series. Who will dare to choose from the Christian's sardonic comments, the violent in-more-than-one-sense personality of Rose (the protagonist), the exhuberantly male pose of Dimitry or the all too likeably cocky demeanor of Adrian? I certainly can not.

4. Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse series. These books saga is long... and on going... sometimes I feel there is too much filling maybe that is why they do not classify a little upper in this list. I like Sookie's always femenine and well composed tempered she is neither soft not a dominatrix hahaha. The Bill from some books really gets on my nerves but he is a good potrait of many day to day guys lol. Eric on the other hand... wow! WOW! He is mind blowing! I love his character and that has nth to do with the great looks of the character in the True Blood, HBO, Tv series. I had read almost all the books by the time the series started airing so I am pretty positive my judgement is not biased. Eric is not easy to like but the more I read about him, the more it catches my deepest sense of curiosity.

There it is! Now I also read Anita blake's series and as you can figure I loved Jean-Claude... not that Richard was hard to like or anything but I am just a vampire lover, what can I do?
The series has its very good moments. I like all this I am a paranormal detective sort of thrill but well... it has pretty boring moments and even when I like erotism within the pages of my vampire books... Laurell K. Hamilton gets too carried away in the last books... I have not read them all and I simply do not want to. Too much pornography, if I want to go into so much detailed sexual encounters I would rent a movie! I mean I have nth against the sex scenes but it got to a point where they seem to last forever and frankly I read for much more than getting my panties wet, let's leave that chore to my boyfriend.

Vampire Diaries, well, I like the decription of Damon, he is an idiot without question but I just like his physique. As usual it also engaged me the fact that he is a tormented bad boy; that is irresistible in a fictional character ;). On the other hand... well, I do not want to be harsh but these books are garbage. Nice garbage, eventually, but alltogether if I have the choice to go back in time I would not read them again.

There are also the books from Anne Rice. I have been reaidng a couple of them. I work slowly with them, even I like them they are not the kind of books which get me addicted and which I cannot put down until I read the last single word. The literature in these books is much better than in any other contemporary vampire books but it lacks some of that rush that the other series in my list do posses. Nonetheless, to be fair you cannot be a vampire lover and not read at least two of these woman's books.

I tried other series and got terribly bored so they're not worth mentioning (and I do not remember the name, honestly).

Ahhhhhh, so many vampires hunting my dreams!

" * You are alive all right. Since you are right there breathing.

  - Does being alive mean that you get involved with others or do something for them?

  * What?

  - The surface world is full of wounds, the world of nabari is also full of wounds.

    As they accumulate, only more new wounds will be created.

    Why does everyone keep getting involved with others?

  * Cause in the end, people can't survive without doing so. That is how it is.

  -  I can´t do anything other than to wound others so I am definitely not alive.

---

  * Wheter you are alive or death, my door is open for you.

     You can always come back here and just use this place for shelter when it rains."

Nabari no ou

“I HATE THEM – ALL OF THEM. GODDAMN BASTARDS. I could kill them ALL with my bare hands. The men – those men – those disgusting, revolting assholes. Grabbing with greedy hands – taking – taking - always taking."

"First of all, the art of living; then as my ideal profession, poetry and philosophy, and as my real profession, plastic arts; in the last resort, for lack of income, illustrations."

Paul Klee

Shame on me!

Today I have several reasons to feel ashamed.

First of all, because I spent my whole weekend doing pretty much nothing apart from eating and thinking about this new guy. Now, this is shameful because the guy is obviously not interested and because I am bathing in comfort food thanks to my disappointment and my lack of sleep through an awful last week.

Second, because I am falling into my old habit of getting depressed... ruining my grades... behaving like an idiot... bitching whenever I am well enough to speak and doing nothing. I just think about stupidities; almost never leave home and make ridiculous plans for moments to come.

Third, because I spent hours wondering why  I'm alone now, where are my friends, why I cannot find a motivation why I'm not going nuts over the things I love as I usually am. Where does it come from this need to feel pain? to mess up the things which really matter for me? this crave to hide from the world?

Today I was supposed to give an essay for my "Heidegger" class. I read the texts. I had the topic and what did I do? Oh, little old moi sat in front of the computer and got to think the whole f***ing morning! I did not go to college, I barely moved from my chair and I was not even surfing on the net. I felt like a zombie. The only two things which gave me a kick were a movie and my cousin begging me to go to his speech at the congress. Speech to which I accepted to go since Saturday; actually, I even did editing work on it. Nevertheless, today it seemed completely trivial to go to my cousins speech! I love my cousin we are like siblings and this was important for him! After he and a mutual friend called me I felt horrible for not going. I found myself in front of the mirror (without having even taking a bath at 4pm) wondering: what the hell is wrong me? Finally, after a lot of dragging myself around the house I was ready to go. I arrived 30 minutes late after being forced to pay way too much money for a cab so I could arrived and see my lovely cousin and my friend.

The movie I mention before was: "The spirit". I had not seen it but finally,a friend who loves comics bought it and borrow it to me so I could watch it. He, in agreement with the critic, said it was crap. He warned me over the phone that he could only stand it for 30 minutes or so because then he was so annoyed that he placed the dvd in its box and never gave it a second look until I asked if he had finally watch it.

I watched it in two sections, 1 hour before going to my cousins debut and the rest when I got back.

Fortunately or unfortunately I do not know the comic. My only comic references are some batman issues (I totally loved The Long Halloween ones), some Spiderman issues,  a little of Civil War and some X-men. However, I had hopes for this movie since Frank Miller was in charge. I liked the movie. I did not like the story too much... but I fell for the image. I enjoyed the way it all looked like watching a play at the theater mixed with photoshop cuts out. I loved the atmosphere the scenography and the light were able to create and, the cat was just way to cute for me to resist (lol).

Now I am thinking that I'm safe being in love only with images, with colored dreams, with those enchanted shapes and words that inhabit a pencil.

When your lips were red: I had everything and the rain was merely an apathetic literary mood.

When your lips were red, I could see through them: secret messages and smelled the scent of morning coffee.

When your lips were red: there were no lonely twilights or artificial smiles.

When your lips were red, I was writing the first happy chapter of this book and, now the pages seem lonely.

Your lips are not red anymore. Smoky gray took the place of that bright color and I am all too human for its desperation.  

A look in the mirror.

Yesterday, I found this Iranian website and started reading some of the articles there. I have a kind of bond to Iran and because of it I read cultural as well as general news featuring this country.
Today, I tripped over "Flying Solo", she has this column named "Coffe an Conversation" -http://www.iranian.com/main/2009/aug/coffee-and-conversation- where she publishes a sort of dramatic story. I read the issue number 4 and I liked it so much (I enjoyed her writing wholeheartedly) that I wanted to read the rest for which I went to the firt issue. After reading it and being a bit shocked by the incredible abruptness of Solo and her ironically romantic perspective on men, I had to mull over this phrase:

"You , me, all women live the romances we truly deserve. So, look in the mirror and start anew."


Peculiar is to say that I am somehow halfway between these two opposites: Mira and Solo. As an afterthought, I got to think, as many times before, about the men in my life.
I grew up surrounded by men and I learned devastating facts thanks to it. My father was, to put it kindly because as a dad he is not that bad all together, not the best example of a romantic part. My brothers are not much better than him.
I must say that I will never forget when I was entering my puberty how my older brother behaved, disclosing to me facts about the way he behaved with women to end it with a phrase of the sort "This is so you know how things are and you will not behave stupidly".
I have behaved like a total idiot more than once and, in that same fashion I have cried.
I am so particularly obsessive and giving when I really fall for someone that I wonder how much good my brother's preparations and the images from all the other men (family and friends) around me did to me.
I have trust issues... I never feel sure that I am getting all there is from men and they have a hard time because somehow with me they have to overcome two things: first, that I am not ambiguous at all (when I say no it means no and, when I say yes it means hell yes!); and second, that to be with me is like eternal counceling... I need to go over what went wrong and decipher why it went wrong and figure how not to make it that way again.
Due to the statements above I am not very popular with men. When I feel bad about something I split it out and I am very clear with what I want... men tend to have problems with that, probably because afterward they will have no excuse as to a misunderstanding.

When I think about my relationships I wonder a lot... many a time I have allow the guy to think he may use me so I can use him, with my conscience free of guilt, because I cannot deal with something real and, even less with a guy head over heels for me when I am just having fun.
I am curious to see if out there somewhere is a guy who can deal with my issues and me, while imagining me naked and putting up with my sense of romance. Is there anyone that open-minded and passionately caring?


I have to say this here. I met this guy... tall, gorgeous lips and hands, great personality, creative interests... I find him terribly cute. I cannot say I like him-like him because I have barely seen him 4 times or so but he makes me so curious. My regular me says go for it be clear about how you feel... my composed me tells me if he is as curious as you are he would be doing something, don't fret, watch, wait. I'm bad waiting I have no patience for that. I like to get my answers quite soon after the question is born. Chickening out? who, me?

Leyend.

I experience, now, the desire to describe a particular moment as if I could engrave it with words.
I was so nervous, thinking about my dress, selfconcious about the contrast between its gray and the white of my socks. Tasting my red lip-stick with good measure, containing the impulse to bite my lips.
I trespassed different faces, without really taking them in, Today I did not want to observe, I wanted to watch him.
My heart accelerated in anguish, it was impossible to stop, he was there: looking straight at me. His posture snatched a sigh from my breath and my eyes, which were desperate not to fall in the abysm of his, were looking for something to hold on to: The title of the book in his hands or the image from its cover, maybe the color of the jacket he wore... or the configuration of his fingers, the tone of his lips... oh, my eyes! again straying from their path!

Je te promets by Zaho

T'aimerai que je te dise, que je t'aimerai toute ma vie

t'aimerai que je te promets, toute mes nuits jusqu'à l'infinie

t'aimerai que je te suive, a jamais sans faire de bruit

et que je comprenne tous ceux si sans que tu le dise

et je ne pourrai te dire, ce que je ne sais pas

et je ne pourrai te donner, ce que je n'ai pas

et je ne pourrai te fuir, même si tu nous sépare

tous ce que je te promets c'est un nouveau départ

J'aimerai que le temps s'arrête lorsqu'on se parle

et qu'apparaisse en plein jour dans le ciel, un milliard d'étoile

pour que je fasse un Vœu, sans que mon soleil se voile

et qu'on puisse être a nouveau, deux sans se faire ce mal

et je ne pourrai te dire, ce que je ne sais pas
et je ne pourrai te donner, ce que je n'ai pas
et je ne pourrai te fuir, même si tu nous sépare
tous ce que je te promets c'est un nouveau départ

et j'aimerai me cacher, sous tes paupières

pour que tu puisse me voir, quand tu fait tes prières

et j'aimerai les casser toute ces lumières

celles qui t'empêches de voir, un peu plus clair

et je ne pourrai te dire, ce que je ne sais pas

et je ne pourrai te donner, ce que je n'ai pas

et je ne pourrai te fuir, même si tu nous sépare

tous ce que je te promets c'est un nouveau départ

"Life doesn't give a fuck that you are sorry or upset or deranged or tormented. Life just goes on and you gotta go on with it, or sit in the middle of the road and feel sorry for yourself. And I do not see you doing that. "

Looking In.

Today I have not been out either. I am giving myself a break to recover since tomorrow the classes are starting from 7am and I am still ill. I do not feel weak as yesterday (which is an amazing improvement) and I am wondering if I should arrive for my afternoon class. I guess I simply won't be going.
I have been thinking since I woke up that I need to get a book for one of my classes and then I found myself thinking about all the books I have ever read. The list is long. I love reading. I remember when I was a kid one of my teachers said... "To read is important, if you are rich you will be richer and if you are not, then that is your only chance to get to know everything there is". As I said in an oldest post I have this thing for horror and Gothic stuff, so as you can imagine when I was a child, I loved scary stories... as it is that brought me to read things a bit more complex historical books and all. I ended up with a bizarre fascination with the middle ages and mythology. I wanted to read about every strange creature, I enjoyed picturing in my head powers turning on humans and I needed to make a list of every king who beheaded people and every queen who had visions.

I am seriously considering to start posting my personal reviews on different titles. Yeah... I would like that.
Books were my only way to scape and I was thrilled with the incredible places I visited and the people I got to know through them. Now that I am older I still feel that way. I told my friends that i probably deal better with books than with people. It is true. I like bad literature and I love good literature...
I have heard the analogy of books being like food for your brain. I have a terrible memory (honestly... it is surprising to wake up in the morning and still remember my name) but I still think it is a good way to put it. Bad food can give you that exact amount of pleasure you were looking for after a very long day... Good food, well, you can flavor it... close your eyes and keep tasting, slowly discovering there are so many textures and a pinch or so of an unexpected ingredient. Literature goes in the same way. Bad literature there is all around, different kinds for different tastes... it is like a sting: potent but evanescent. Good literature, on the other hand, is likely to appeal to many: transcending time, revealing something enchanting with every turn of the page. Bad literature is like an addiction. Good literature is like a well informed decision to travel within a black hole.

"I almost can remember feeling a little different"

Today is a peculiar day. Today is my best friend's birthday, today I had to stay home even I just started my new semester because I am too ill to be out (no voice, no strength) and today I want to talk about a movie I just loved: "Phoebe in wonderland".

A few hours ago I wrote an e-mail to my friend due mainly to the fact that I could not have called her... well, I could, but we would not have had a conversation; just her voice contrasted with my death end. Funny enough, she left me a note to inform me she is also having problems with her throat. Empathy? Naw.
The wonderful thing about friends, the real ones, is that they do not follow you, neither they lead you. They are plainly there, by your side, sharing whatever life throws your way. That is why friends are these strange people who have seen the worst of you and still love you, and still remember the very best of you. Friends can be a pain in the ass but they are supposed to be so... they are honest as hell and that is amazing. A blessing.


I feel like crap. I hate the sun with all my entirely weak body... I hate to be ill. To feel vulnerable is terrifying... I would rather stand at the edge of a cliff than to feel fragile but here I am. Feeling like a ruined stuff toy after accidentally falling into a washing machine. I could not sleep well either... and the lack of sleep makes me cranky (but who does not get cranky with that?). I hate my ex... why? well, because this is the moment when I would like to be cuddling in bed, hearing a good movie (when I am ill I do not watch I just listen) while hugging a warm body. That makes me remember him and I do not like it (I need to get a thermal pillow).

I watched "Phoebe in wonderland" a few days ago and I remembered about a young little girl I met once who had an OCD. She was an afraid, tiny cocoon. She used to get obsessively worried about everything and everybody. I wonder if she still does that. She was tall, her skin a bit waxy... she looked as if a growth spur would take care of the extra fat around her belly and she always wore an amazed but tired expression on her eyes... I carried my image of her all through out this movie and I suddenly saw her smiling.

"- What do we know about Good Job Jenny?
- (Whispering) That she deserves a slow and painful death."

Good Job Jenny is that stupid cartoon inside the classroom holding "the rules". Oh yeah! "the rules" unbreakable, unquestionable, untouchable... leading a herd of puny screaming lambs (ok, ok, children) to live a life where you throw the stone and hide your hand if you are not happy but never dare to go against the flow.
When I took Art Lab, at school, it was wonderful. My teacher was this kinda guy who believe in anarchy but who always clarified first that anarchy was more than just lack of government. Anarchy, he told us, is a state where each individual knows what he wants and, being able to have total control over himself, do what he has to do with no one else telling him what that is.
I was all for it. I am not good working around with people staring at me so it was kinda harsh to be at the workshop with everyone else peeping or commenting on my job. One day I just sat and looked at the clear morning... My teacher came and said: "what do you think you are doing?" and I answered bluntly: "nothing". He just stared at me until I finally speak: "I do not like to work with everyone around, it is annoying so I am coming up with a plan". Suddenly he was grinning and told me: "OK, but you better hurry up and make it a damn good one" and on he went around the workshop. Next class I had design my program for the rest of the course. I was to read and observe in class and bring over what I did at home. I learned what I was supposed to and more.
This movie is about that. This movie says "jump", "do your thing! why are you waiting for someone to push you?".
I think one's mind is all there is. What lives within our head is the last frontier.
We are all an individual universe... and we posses so many fantastic ideas and thoughts that it seems almost painful not to use them.

Miss Dodger: At a certain part in your life. Probably when too much of it has gone by. You will open your eyes and see yourself for who you are. Especially for everything that made you so different from all the awful normals. And you will say to yourself, "But I am this person." And in that statement, that correction, there will be a kind of love.

Am I a lame blogger?

Ohhh yes. Yes, I am but anyway let's do this again.
Now, writing, I have the weirdest sensation of... liberation? It so happens that I have laryngitis with a complete loss of voice and I just started my new semester (is it not great?).
The strange thing is that after almost 2 days without being able to hear myself I hear everything else real loud... as if my voice all this time had been drowning the other sounds that surround me. This phenomenon made me wonder if this is like that saying goes: "you will think you are the highest dot if you never look upwards". In this state of things and after a horrible day I took my silence as an opportunity for self-reflection... not good... I found my darkest side... OK, not the darkest but pretty close.
Fortunately or unfortunately I am the kind of person who needs to ventilate certain things in order to move on... Once upon a time I was jealous of this girl who I thought had everything I wanted and oh yeah! I was a real bitch about it. Being bitchy is not bad unless you have gotten the wrong reasons... Anyhow, I had drown that feeling never discovering what was behind it until recently. My jealousy came back with a strength of untold proportions... I made myself look stupidly ridiculous when I screamed that fact with all my lungs potential but I got to grasp the reason behind so much bu**s**t: I was scared as I am now of being alone.

I like my privacy... I like my space... I like to be by myself... but there are times when I hoped there was somebody coming to my rescue and there was nobody. The first time I thought it was sad but after what I have lived the last three years... all my adventures and misadventures... I had to learn something and to get real: I do not need to be rescued.
I learned that if people is going to love me they will, no need to be pushy and no need to make an effort to seem different from how I am. Do not get me wrong... I ted to be pretty honest but sometimes I hold back because I wonder if people can handle it. Guess what... people can, you just will never know unless you try.

The last three years I went from living with my parents, screwing my university average and having a terrible emotional outbreak; to go on travels, to be engaged and living with my guy, to have my own money and live the way I decided. Now I am back... I am living with my mom again, no guy, I am back to university and I am about to get a job (if my stupid respiratory infections get away from me long enough). It seemed I was back to where I began and I was freaking out due to it but that is not true.
Now even if I can get to be an idiot once in a while I am stronger, I understand what independence means and what I want. I still have so many issues going on, with the difference that now I am able to face them.

Sun is spooky!

Did I mention I hate hot days in cold cities? Ok, I know I did not. This morning all seemed fine... the morning looked cloudy and gray... I woke up early to get to my french class...
Suddenly I realized I had fallen asleep again... it was late and after I went out with my windbreaker there was sun (like a devishly warrior running his sword repetedly over my head)... a little too much for my comfort. Gosh! I even had to wait 20 minutes before getting my bus and I had forgotten my homework... Great!
After noticing I had just woken up on the worng side of the bed I decided I should not care (ri-ight, let's try the cool stance lol): I did my homework in the bus and decided not to run...
I was informed in the middle way to my classroom that my teacher had been changed for a new one who gave me a very pointed "bon soir" while the sun kept increasing its "charm". I went for some medicines after class wearing only the sleeveless shirt I had under the windbreaker and it started to rain... To top it all with a little cherry I came home to make this semester schedule and saw -to my utmost horror- I could not take two of the subjects I wanted to take, or worse, I needed to take.

I accept I am coldblooded and I like it that way but I can enjoy heat... just that heat belongs to places where you use what I call warm-weather-pretty-clothes.
Now my cheeks are mark with that snow-white red color and as I want to go to bed I still feel a wave of heat all over (maybe I am just getting menopausic during my early twienties). Double damn! I am about to propose sun was created for evil doings.

On the path of illumination!

Today I had a very weird "revelation" and I decided about two things:
First, I am going to learn how to shoot (so world beware! lol) not aiming to be dangerous (mind you, I am dangerous enough while trying to cook with a knife in my hand) or any of the sort (which means I am not becoming a bounty hunter or the like)... just I have been reading a lot of light novels during this summer time and I got sort of thrilled by the discipline of shooting as a sport.
Second, I really need to stop dating guys who meant me harm... My trauma is that no one forces me to be around them... I voluntarily go with them so whatever is wrong with me I gotta fix it real soon! I hate when a man does not even try to apologize... but I am about to bet that it is just me picking the ones with no manners... damn!

Since a change of topic is in order... The link below is my contribution to a blog from one of my classes last year I liked it a lot... but it is in Spanish :P

http://www.mediaciones.net/arteymatematicas/?cat=16


On to a different subject... again... I gotta say it is a bit amusing the latest fashion trend: vampirism. I have a thing for horror... not gore but good suspense, strong and well built characters with a lot of supernatural stuff going on around them. All in all vampires are a hot thing... they have always been so no surprises there. Nonetheless, it is a bit funny how vampires and specially the humans around them have been protrayed lately.

Away from the classics in vampire literature and supernatural gear I have been feeding on (since last summer) authors like: Stephenie Meyer, Jeaniene Frost, Charlaine Harris and Laurell Hamilton. This literature goes from light to mild but they are good... what Meyer, for example, lacks in literature in her first books she does in enthralling most of the time. Nevertheless, I am really really disappointed in the look this wonderful literature characters are taking on TV and the big screen.
Something I like, a lot, from the female characters this authors had created is that they are really though in one way or another. They are strong, sometimes a bit twisted... but, what am I to think from the Sookie Stackhouse portrayed by Anna Paquin? or the Bella shown by Kristen Stewart? I am not given the full fault to the actresses so no pun intended to those lovely girls (maybe the scrip writers are not really getting the vibe of the books?!).
It is just damn annoying to see the amazingly charming but freakishly brave blond from Harris' novels is all lost in an always smiling, shallow and egocentric Sookie in the True Blood TV series. The emotional development of the clumsy but interesting I-stand-up-for-what-I-believe Bella that Meyer gave life to in her books is in the Twilight movie transformed into a very silly I-am-willing-to-do-anything-for-you, needy and weak girl.

It is not fair! The whole point that makes these girls great is that they are able to stand by themselves no need of a supernatural prince coming to their rescue! It seems so chauvinistic that I am about to believe the are doing this on purpose!!!